Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Today's Mr Drinkwater, Courtesy of D. B. Schell




Damn, now if this isn't the story of my life I don't know what is.....

It'd be funny if it wasn't so accurate.

Thank you, Mr. Drinkwater.

Al Franken Leaving Air America Radio On Valentine's Day




Bummer.

I posted this on the Air America site today:


Thanks, Al

This past year has been one of the most difficult and trying of my adult life and honestly I don't know what I would have done without your daily presence on the radio every working week.

To say that your leaving the air waves saddens me would be to profoundly understate how I feel about this, having Jerry Springer go was one thing, but this is on par when Bob & Ray's afternoon drivetime show left WWOR Radio in New York to be replaced by the likes of that hater Bob Grant that ultimately bequeathed us the likes of Rush Limbaugh and his ilk.

Thank god it's not going to be that bad, Thom Hartmann has got the wonky thing down and I'm hoping that he has on some of your same regulars like Stormin' Norm Ornstein, Christy Harvey, Tom Oliphant, Joe Conason, Melanie Sloan, Paul Krugman, on on a regular basis, but not your old friend Martin Luther, sorry, though I'm going to miss all the theme music and the bits like "Wait, Wait, Don't Lie To Me." and "The Hate Email of the Day..."

Then again, for me it's just as well, as that I'm interviewing with the DNC's Grassroot's Campaign this Wednesday for work for the 2008 Presidential Campaign and maybe it's time to apply all this that I learned from to that effort of finishing the job and taking back the White House.

"Norm In The USA!!!"
(Norm Ornstein's of AEI theme song plays on the air)

I love that song, "Because it can only mean one thing, it's time for......"

Man, I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm gonna miss that bit with the theme music, especially Christy Harvey's song.

Sniff....

Love you dawg and good luck with whatever it is that you do next, fighting the good fight.

~nyc A Pen Warmed In Hell

PS: I wrote this elsewhere today about the AAR Chapter 11 stuff:

"Air America may have gone bankrupt, so did Chrysler, Arthur Andersen and Enron, to name a few others, if memory serves, but even with that, we did manage to get the House and Senate back.

So there, you bitches.

neener neener."

by DigitalComponents at January 29, 2007 - 2:41pm | login or register to post comments | email this comment
And I wrote this on an Electronic Dance Music mailing list, that has gotten madly political ever since the year 2000 Presidential S/Election, gee I wonder why. (My co-correspondent's name has been changed for obvious reasons):

Tigger The Tiger wrote:

I really hope that when Al leaves, they put Thom Hartmann's show on in its place. Currently Thom is an "alternate" syndication by AA, but he is the smartest person on that network, and his show actually gives you information every day that helps you see positive directions for change, not just things to get pissed off about. Plus, almost every day he will have at least one guest on from the hard Right, and try his best to engage them in a real, rational debate, which does a great job of exposing most of their positions for the ridiculous things they are...
Ditto all that.

And Thom *will* be the replacement, which is better than we could have hoped for.

Thom is a wonk's wonk, but not near as funny, and I'm gonna miss the bits Al did on the show, nobody on radio today does that kind of thing anymore.

The only thing close to losing this kind of a voice on the airwaves when when Bob & Ray (the comedian Chris Elliot is Bob's kid), went off the air on WOR Radio in NYC in the 1980s to be replaced by spewer Bob Grant at the dawn of AM Hate Radio. That really sucked, as did losing CBS Radio Mystery Theater at about the same time.

This is bad, but not near as bad as those were.

And yeah, Thom is good w/the conservatives in not fighting with them just on GP. Only Jerry Springer comes close. In fact he even wrote a book with one of them, Lamar Waldron, (the graphic novel guy), on the Kennedy assassination not too long ago called "Ultimate Sacrifice". http://tinyurl.com/yoca4t I know this because I have wing-nut friend, that's obsessed with JFK, (this friend makes Entropy look like Che Guevara, btw, it's amazing we didn't come to blows this past fall when I was working with him. The Mark Foley thing in the middle of the job didn't hurt from keeping me from doing something stupid), and he asked me track down the book and I had a lot of fun telling him who Thom Hartmann is.

heheheh.

Speaking as a writer, I don't know how Thom does it, the man must write his books in his sleep, because I have no idea how he finds the time to do what he does.

I'm still mad at AA for dropping Mike Malloy, though.

No kidding, though teh Phoenix station Mike's on is also an AAR affiliate, you can hear their bumpers during the commercial breaks on the stream.

The show's archive's have been moved from the White Rose site to NovaM Radio, here's the latest batch: http://www.novamradio.com/archive_malloy_hiq.php (Warning, Premium Content).

~nyc
So there you have it, folks, Air America Radio's ass has been pulled out of the sling, and Big Al kisses off his loyal listeners on Valentine's Day, a day that just doesn't work for my family, (having 100 members of my family die in Dresden, Germany on that date in WWII speaks to that, how do you think my hair got white in the picture here, huh?), and me, since on Valentine's Day, 2005 I had the bad luck to have Paul Wolfowitz, that murderous scumbag, cross my path, as I was gong out to a nice crab dinner, in front of the Bethesda Barnes & Nobles.

Ugh, that's enough to put any man off of his feed.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Wow....




This is "Awe" by Edyta of Poland

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Hey! Big Dick "Hogwash" Cheney, This Is A Taste Of What Waterboarding Feels Like





There will come a day, Darth Cheney, when your Sith Lord Mind Tricks will lose their power.


Actually your approval ratings are about 18%, so they already have, you just haven't woken up and smelled Father Ted's amphetamines yet.

You got a taste of your own, courtesy of Wolf Blitzer talking about your gay daughters impending baby, you big, sniveling, hypocritical baby

"DimeStoreFool" a Wonkette commentator put it best when s/he said:

"dimestorefool says:

For a moment there I thought I was watching Lon Chaney and not Dick. The veep turned white as a ghost and nearly shat himself and then Wolf lets the fucker squirm away:

"Well, er, um...the public.. um...may be interested...um..in the lesbian...um...thing... we ..you know...it seems relevant Mr. Veep..um....and ..er... entirely appropriate...um...your lesbian daughter...uuuh.who I do wish well..well let's move on."

How in the hell do these sorry-ass reporters look in the mirror in the mornin? This piece of human filth has spent a nice long career voting against rights for every minority group on the planet and when his own daughter decides to play for the other team the topic is suddenly off limits. Fuck him and the reporters who enable this sorry bullshit.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Worst. State. Of. The Union, Ever.Bully.



Pathetic.


Jim Webb Rocks, tho', yo.

And Nancy Pelosi sitting in that old fat fuck's old chair, Denny "The Pigface and Body" Hastert made me weep like a BABY.

How cool is that!!!!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Mano A Mano Colbert V. O'Reilly, APWIH Reports, You Decide



Who do you think won the Funny Sweepstakes?








Granted, A Pen Warmed In Hell is biased, but it's really not even close, now is it?

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"It's 55 Minutes Past Eleven" The Clash, Sandinista!





Countdown to the Apocalypse: Scientists Change Doomsday Clock



By Heather Scroope
01/17/2007 --

The end of the world may be drawing a bit closer.

Scientists on Wednesday changed the time on Chicago’s Doomsday Clock two minutes closer to midnight, or the apocalypse, based on what they said is the “most perilous period since Hiroshima and Nagasaki,” during dual announcements in London and Washington, D.C.

"We foresee great peril if governments and societies don’t take action now” to offset climate change, said astrophysicist Stephen Hawking, who has warned that the survival of the human race depends on its ability to colonize space because of the increasing risk that a disaster will destroy the Earth.

“It is now five to midnight,” he said of the clock, which was introduced in 1947 by the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists to assess the threat of a nuclear holocaust during the Cold War.

The scientists said to avoid disaster, we must reduce the “launch readiness” of the United States and Russia – 2,000 of their 27,000 nuclear weapons are able to launch within minutes — remove nuclear weapons from day-to-day military operations and stop production of nuclear weapons material such as highly enriched plutonium and uranium.

As for global warming, “Through flooding and desertification, climate change threatens the habitats and agricultural resources that societies depend upon for survival. As such, climate change is also likely to contribute to mass migrations and even to wars over arable land, water and other natural resources,” Bulletin scientists said in a statement.

The group specifically singled out Iran and North Korea as examples of the threat posed by countries striving for nuclear technology.

"North Korea's recent test of a nuclear weapon, Iran's nuclear ambitions ... the failure to adequately secure nuclear materials ... are symptomatic of a failure to solve the problems posed by the most destructive technology on Earth," the scientists said.

Click here to visit the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists Web site.

The decision to move the clock forward reflects "growing concerns" about a “second nuclear age."

“This change reflects global failures” to combat nuclear threats and global warming, said Kennette Benedict, the Bulletin's executive director.

In addressing the threat posed by the use of a nuclear weapon, she said: "The damage that it would create would be civilization-ending.”

“As we stand at the brink of a second nuclear age and at the onset of unprecedented climate change, our way of thinking about the uses and control of technologies must change to prevent unspeakable destruction and future human suffering,” she said.

Click here to read a Bulletin article detailing the threats (pdf).

There is a “great possibility that the earth in 2100 will only dimly resemble” what it looks like today, said Lawrence M. Krauss, professor of physics and astronomy at Case Western Reserve University.

“Science may have changed the world … but it hasn’t changed the way people think about the world,” he said, pointing to Albert Einstein's belief that we must change our way of thinking if we want to survive.

We must “seek new approaches to address these threats,” Krauss said.

In defining the second nuclear era, the scientists pointed to “porous national borders, rapid communications that facilitate the spread of technical knowledge and expanded commerce in potentially dangerous dual-use technologies and materials."

In addition, there needs to be an improved nuclear inspection agency under the International Atomic Energy Agency to keep countries in check, said Ambassador Thomas Pickering, a BAS director and co-chair of the International Crisis Group.

"For example, through vigorous diplomacy and international agencies like the [IAEA], we can negotiate and implement agreements that could protect us all from the most destructive technology on Earth — nuclear weapons," he said.

In warning about “runaway climactic or environmental devastation” Sir Martin Rees warned, "There is now more chance than ever of a few nuclear weapons going off in a … conflict.”

Rees is president of The Royal Society and professor of cosmology and astrophysics and master of Trinity College at the University of Cambridge.

“As citizens of the world, we have a duty to alert the public to the unnecessary risks that we live with every day, and to the perils we foresee if governments and societies do not take action now to render nuclear weapons obsolete and to prevent further climate change,” said Hawking, who recently made headlines after announcing his plans to tour space in 2009 aboard one of Richard Branson's planned Virgin Galactica space flights.

University of Chicago scientists who had worked on the Manhattan Project and were concerned about the use of nuclear weapons and nuclear war formed the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists in 1945. In 1947, members unveiled the clock as a simple model for showing the threats posed by nuclear weapons.

Wednesday's "time" change is the 18th since 1947, the most recent before Wednesday's update being in 2002 following the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks in the United States.

Monday, January 15, 2007

One Man In The Name of Love....



The reason why they, starting with the Reagan Administration, destroyed the Public School System in America is so that they, hopefully, according to their plan, can keep any more men like Martin, and myself, from arising out of the populace.

Fuck them, too bad that plan is not gonna work.

Not if I have anything to say about it, and believe me I will and do.

They can continue to try to implement this plan, but it's going to be over my dead body.



Saturday, January 13, 2007

A Beastie Boys Break - Intergalactic



Need to lighten the mood up a little bit, after all it is a Friday Night in the Big Apple and I've been a hard working guy and I could use a musical treatsies like only this crew can deliver and DAAAARRRROOOOPPPP!!!!


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Semper Fi, My Brother In Arms Corporal Jason Dunham


"The good part is that we get to make new memories and bring new people into the family; the bad news is there will be no new memories with Jason.” Deb Dunn, Mother of Jason, 10 November 2006



Do you really need any further proof that when George W. Bush utters the word "Sacrifice" it means that an another innocent American will die?

Coming on the heels of last night speech, the sheer naked political opportunism of exploiting Corporal Dunham's valorous, and needless, death by broadcasting the posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor ceremony on live, national TV is a new low, for someone I thought couldn't possibly go any lower.

First he debases the Presidency, and now he's gone and used the most sacred and hallowed ritual of our Military for his own ends like this?

What's up with that?

(Note to any Chickenhawk whack jobs that want to turn around and say that I'm doing the same thing, you can go to hell. The difference between what I'm doing here is that I want this insane slaughter of my Marines to STOP, whereas you and your President want it to go on for as long as you can get away with it, and that's just disgusting, and you know it.)

Not a doubt in my former military mind that the only reason this BuschCo White House is bestowing the Nation's Highest Honor on you Marine, is that for them it's just your luck that you're birthday is the same day, 10 November, as our beloved Marine Corps.

Which means that this, your death, is just another one of their cheap PR gimmicks for them.

It's what they do and what they always, always, always will do

Truly he has no shame, or any sense of it, or he would have done the right thing and recused himself from this ceremony.

I dread to see what he does next.

On behalf of a grateful Nation, A Pen Warmed In Hell offers its deepest condolences to Corporal Dunham's family, we hope that someday you will find it in your hearts to forgive this man for taking away your son.

Semper Fi, Devil Dog.

From the Halls of Montezuma
To the Shores of Tripoli;
We fight our country's battles
In the air, on land and sea;
First to fight for right and freedom
And to keep our honor clean;
We are proud to claim the title
of United States Marine.

Our flag's unfurled to every breeze
From dawn to setting sun;
We have fought in ev'ry clime and place
Where we could take a gun;
In the snow of far-off Northern lands
And in sunny tropic scenes;
You will find us always on the job--
The United States Marines. Here's health to you and to our Corps
Which we are proud to serve
In many a strife we've fought for life
And never lost our nerve;
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven's scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines!!!

The Patron Saint Of A Pen Warmed In Hell



This song is why Mark Twain is named

"The Patron Saint of A Pen Warmed In Hell"



Sadly, it's truer today than when he first wrote it over 100 years ago, sadly it looks like we just never learn, do we?


"The Battle Hymn of the Republic, Updated was written in 1901 by Mark Twain, as a parody of American imperialism, in the wake of the Philippine-American War. It is written in the same tune and cadence as the original Battle Hymn of the Republic.

The Battle Hymn of the Republic, Updated
by Mark Twain

Lyrics
Mine eyes have seen the orgy of the launching of the Sword;
He is searching out the hoardings where the stranger's wealth is stored;
He hath loosed his fateful lightnings, and with woe and death has scored;
His lust is marching on.

I have seen him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps;
They have builded him an altar in the Eastern dews and damps;
I have read his doomful mission by the dim and flaring lamps--
His night is marching on.

I have read his bandit gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with my pretensions, so with you my wrath shall deal;
Let the faithless son of Freedom crush the patriot with his heel;
Lo, Greed is marching on!"

We have legalized the strumpet and are guarding her retreat;*
Greed is seeking out commercial souls before his judgement seat;
O, be swift, ye clods, to answer him! be jubilant my feet!
Our god is marching on!

In a sordid slime harmonious Greed was born in yonder ditch,
With a longing in his bosom--and for others' goods an itch.
As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich--
Our god is marching on.

* NOTE: In Manila the Government has placed a certain industry under the protection of our flag. (M.T.)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Introducing Mr. DrinkWater....

In Honor Of Tonight's The Surging Scourge Of Iraqaloo Speech Here's A Piece by D. B. Schell

©2007 D. B. Schell

This a cartoon from my friend D. B. Schell, who operates his site Mr. Drinkwater, where you can find this piece as well as many others that are equally brilliant and insightful.

You can always find his work on A Pen Warmed In Hell's sidebar and it's a privilege to host this piece here today, given its relevance to today's Current Event.

Thanks D. B.!

Surge On, peoples, surge on.

~nyc

PS: BTW, this is a milestone piece for
A Pen Warmed In Hell in that it is the 100th post on this site. Here's to thousands more!


Site Overhaul Today

As you may have noticed, if you're one of the 2 or 3 prior visitors to my little corner of the internebwets, I just redid A Pen Warmed In Hell's layout on impulse just now.

And what do you know?

Usually when give in to my impulses there's Hell To Pay, but in this rare case, it looks like it's worked out for the better, both for you, Gentle Reader, and myself, since I no longer have to feel inadequate because my blog's got a crummy layout.

Enjoy!

And I hope to see you back here, early and often.

~nyc

Now if I could only figure out that damn RSS code, I'd be all set.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Abramoff & Bush Sitting In A Lobby K*I*S*S*I*N*G*



Longtime A Pen Warmed In Hell readers, you know who you are, are sure remember this little gem from the Archives:


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Well, well, well, guess what, it's now a matched set, this just came over the transom today:
The image “http://www.citizensforethics.org/filelibrary/JAGWB.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

"Jack Abramoff? Never heard of the guy.
Heheheh."

It must suck to work in the West Wing these days.

Lets see how they weasel out of this one, which you know they're already burning the midnight oil doing.

Don't these two have the loveliest of smiles?

Monday, January 8, 2007

Do You Smell Something Funny?

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gifhttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gifhttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gifhttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gifhttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gifhttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gifhttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gifhttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1633/1246/320/DrudgeSiren.gif

(See that idiot Drudge doesn't have the monopoly on the siren thingy that he thinks he does.)

Mysterious gas odor in NYC and Jersey City

F station at W. 23rd St and 6th Ave evacuated, PATH train service suspended between. 33rd Street and Journal Square and 33rd Street and Hoboken


Fucking awesome.

The Plan of the Day today was to go job hunting, since APWIH has yet to turn a dime, (people, those "ads by goooogle" on the sidebars are not up there because I'm running a charity, y'know) and thanks to some Kentucky stir fried idjit in Chelsea who forgot to relight the pilot on their stove Rachael Rat and Martha Stewart are being pre-empted to cover this nonsense.

If they figure out who this idjit is, I hope they get billed for all the lost ad revenue the local TV stations had to make good on to their clients.

It's just as well for me though, it turns out that not only is the guy I'm working for a crook, (his being banned for LIFE by the SEC from working in the Securities industry is how I know this), but also he's the same guy that tried to extort $10 million dollars from Fox Broadcasting founder and USA Networks Barry Diller by cybersquatting the URL barrydiller.org. I'll throw a link up for that as soon as I track it down, or you can just google it yourself from here.

Of all the people in NYC to get my first indoor job in 5 years it had to be this guy.

Don't know about you, but I find that kinda funny.

Oh, well, at least he's a good teacher and I'll be better able to recognize creeps like him in the future.

Sucks having to go look for another job though, since now that I know this about him, I can't work for him anymore, never mind that his current, legit, biz doing Student Loan refinancing is coming apart at the seams, because he's running out of names to call and his VoIP equipment\software is a buggy piece of shit that hasn't worked right in almost a week now, meaning my next paycheck is gonna really suck.

What the hell, it just gives me more time to concentrate on A Pen Warmed In Hell anyways, which from here on in is my real job anyways.

Click those sidebar google ads people so I don't have to go work for people like that anymore, m'kay?


Please. Pretty please, with sugar on top?

Thanks!!!!

Thursday, January 4, 2007

The Lady Is In The House

Dear Lady Speaker of The House,

What a moving speech and such a lovely and tasteful outfit too.

Congratulations and thank you.

Can't believe it, but I'm actually looking forward to The State of The Union Address for the first time in a long, long, time.

Because, Lady, you ROCK.

Our long national waking nightmare may not be over, quite just yet, but I'll take this as a start.

We have a new Congress.

Pinch me because I'm obviously dreaming, but wait, it's a *good* dream, so, on second thought, please don't, I want to enjoy this.

Now turn to, and go get 'em, cuz, they's got a lot to answer for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g71EYKgqbjg

~nyc

I Pledge Allegiance To The Flag.... Again

Hey some things are so good, they just GOTTA be posted twice in as many day so as maybe they'll sink in.

Turn your speakers ALL the way UP.



Lyrics

Can I Get A Witness?!?!?

Today's The Motherflucking Day!!!!

Let's Get Down To Business!!!!!

Hell The Fuck YEAH, Baby!!



(With All Apologies To That White Rapper Dude Outta Detroit)


Almost there....

It's 55 minutes past 11......

The Swearing In is only moments away.

And so much for that:

"Long National Nightmare Being Over"

The nightmare has only just begun for those Republican assholes that have run roughshod over the American Peoples.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer group of people.

And I mean that in the nicest fucking way.

:-)

Payback IS a motherfucking bitch.

It's about fucking time, inn't matey?

Time to roll up our sleeves and get to work on behalf of the American People.

Finally...

An end to this nonsense.

Whew.

And here I was thinking it would never end, and shit.


Republican Bitches and gentlemen!

It's SHOWTIME!

Hurry hurry, step right up!

Introducin the star of our show.. his name is..
(The Democratic US Congress!)
You wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now
So without further adieux, I bring to you
(The Democratic US Congress!)

Let's get down to business

I don't got no time to play around

What is this?


Must be a circus in town

Let's shut the shit down
on these Republican clowns;

Can I get a witness?

(HELL YEAH!!!!!)

[The Democratic US Congress]

Quick gotta move fast, gotta perform miracles
Gee wilikers, American People,

"Holy bat syllables!"


Look at all the bullshit that goes on in Gotham when I'm gone,
time to get rid of these Republican rap criminals*






*[The American People]

Hey!
Democratic US Congress! !!
It Sounds like an S.O.S.


[The Democratic US Congress]


Holy wack unlyrical lyrics American People, you're fuckin right!!

[The American People]

To the Rapmobile - let's go!

The Democratic US Congress! !!!

The Democratic US Congress!!!!!

[The Democratic US Congress]

Republican Bitches and gentlemen!

It's SHOWTIME!

Hurry hurry, step right up!

Introducin the star of our show.. his name is..

The Democratic US Congress!!!!!!

You wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now!

So, without further adieux, I bring to you

The Democratic US Congress!!!!

(What you guys couldn't get Billy Shears? Ed.)

[The Democratic US Congress]

You bout to witness, hip-hop in its most purest
more rawest form, flow almost flawless
Most hardest, most honest known artist
Chip off the old block, but oh Doc is BACK
Looks like Batman brought his own Robin
Oh God, Saddam's got his own Laden
With his own private plane, his own pilot (update: not any more he don't, Editor.)
Set to blow college dorm rooms doors off the hinges
oranges, peach, pears, plums, syringes
(*chainsaw sound* VROOM VROOM! Yeah, here I come
I'm inches, away from you, dear fear none
Hip-Hop is in a state of nine-one-one so..

[Chorus 2X: The Democratic US Congress]
Let's get down to business
I don't got no time to play around, what is this?
Must be a circus in town, let's shut the shit down
on these clowns; can I get a witness? (HELL YEAH!)

[The Democratic US Congress]
Quick gotta move fast, gotta perform miracles
Gee wilikers American People, "Holy bat syllables!"
Look at all the bullshit that goes on in Gotham
when I'm gone, time to get rid of these rap criminals
So skip to your lou while I do what I do best
You ain't even impressed no more; you're used to it
Flows too wet, nobody close to it
Nobody says it but still everybody knows the shit
The most hated on out of all those who say they get hated on
in eighty songs and exaggerate it all so much
they make it all up, there's no such thing
Like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans
It just means so much more to so much more
people when you're rappin and you know what for
The show must go on; so I'd like to welcome y'all
to The Democratic US Congress and Andre's car-ni-val, c'mon! Now

[Chorus]

[The Democratic US Congress]
It's just like old times, the Dynamic Duo
Two old friends, why panic? You already know
who's fully capable, the two caped heroes
Dial straight down the center, eight-zero-zero
You can even call collect, the most feared duet
since me and Elton, played career Russian Roulette
And never even see me blink or get to bustin a sweat
People steppin over people just to rush to the set
just to get to see an MC who breathes so freely
Ease over these beats and be so breezy
Jesus how can shit be so easy?
How can one Chandra be so Levy?
Turn on these beats, MC's don't see me
Believe me; BET and MTV
are gonna grieve when we leave dog, fo' sheezy
Can't leave rap alone, the game needs me
'til we grow beards, get weird and disappear
into the mountains - nothin but clowns down here
But we, ain't fuckin around round here
Yo American People (whattup?) Can I get hell..? (HELL YEAH!) Now

[Chorus]

[Outro]
So there you have it folks (The Democratic US Congress!) has come to save the day
Back with his friend The American People, here to remind you that bullshit does not pay
Because (The Democratic US Congress!) and The American People are here to stay
and never go away, until our dying day
Until we're old and grey (The American People!)
So until next time friends, same blonde hair, same rap channel
Good night everyone, thank you for coming
Your host for the evening (The Democratic US Congress!)
Oh! Heh





Music To Burn In Hell By If You're A Minority Republican


Tonight's Pen Warmed In Hell Musical Selection Comes Straight From Those Good American over @ Amazon:

http://tinyurl.com/tblj4

It's a debut CD from Zandosis and it's a little bit they call:

"George W. Bush Go Straight To Fucking Hell"



An Instant Classic If there ever was one.

At least from the perspective of us here at a Pen Warmed In Hell.

Makes a great post-Festivus gift.

And the critics all agree, it's hellaciously teh awesomeness.


In fact none other than Joey Bobby Briggsy sez. "Check It Out".



Editorial Reviews

Product Description


Love them or hate them, Zandosis unleash their debut full length cd, "George W Bush Go Straight To Fucking Hell". Just in time for the mid term elections, Zandosis unleashes a shotgun blast of mayhem. Sounding like Mike Patton fronting a guitarless Melt Banana on crack. This cd has been six years in the making. For those not familiar with the band: Drummer Stewart Voegtlin started beating on double boilers and copper pots as a wee boy; smashed crockery followed. Several ad hoc kits later he was slashing and bashing with suburban Death Metal fiends, Lustmordem; terrifying posh Buckhead youth with rural heathens, Asmodeus, all while air-drumming at home to S.O.B., Bathory and Possessed. Wooed by the freedoms of late '60s european Jazz, Voegtlin sent the double kick drum to the shed and worked Metal's intensity into wave and pulse drumming - styles typified by Sunny Murray, Rashied Ali and Dutch madman Han Bennink. There are blast beats; there are relentless ride cymbal attacks and there's a bit of the unpredictable: conch shell, trombone and [broken] clarinet are given the selfsame mistreatment. Bassist Tony Gordon - honestly it's hard to tell if he's playing a Fender bass or if it is playing him. He's got the most unique bass sound anyone's ever heard, as often it sounds like something completely not a bass (most often it sounds like two battleships making love). His solo project is called Freebass, and again you'd be hard pressed to pick out any bass sound. Vocalist Marshall Avett started the Old Gold label in 1994; been playing with unrecognized geniuses in groups like More, Mato, Charlie Parker, Petland Toy Faktory, and Zandosis; likes ice cream; has cats named Fatty Nacho and Squeak; and has never ridden a crest of power like he feels when he announces these songs and launches into the resulting attack of sound and electricity.

Product Description
Love them or hate them, Zandosis unleash their debut full length cd, "George W Bush Go Straight To Fucking Hell". Just in time for the mid term elections, Zandosis unleashes a shotgun blast of mayhem. Sounding like Mike Patton fronting a guitarless Melt Banana on crack. This cd has been six years in the making. For those not familiar with the band: Drummer Stewart Voegtlin started beating on double boilers and copper pots as a wee boy; smashed crockery followed. Several ad hoc kits later he was slashing and bashing with suburban Death Metal fiends, Lustmordem; terrifying posh Buckhead youth with rural heathens, Asmodeus, all while air-drumming at home to S.O.B., Bathory and Possessed. Wooed by the freedoms of late '60s european Jazz, Voegtlin sent the double kick drum to the shed and worked Metal's intensity into wave and pulse drumming - styles typified by Sunny Murray, Rashied Ali and Dutch madman Han Bennink. There are blast beats; there are relentless ride cymbal attacks and there's a bit of the unpredictable: conch shell, trombone and [broken] clarinet are given the selfsame mistreatment. Bassist Tony Gordon - honestly it's hard to tell if he's playing a Fender bass or if it is playing him. He's got the most unique bass sound anyone's ever heard, as often it sounds like something completely not a bass (most often it sounds like two battleships making love). His solo project is called Freebass, and again you'd be hard pressed to pick out any bass sound. Vocalist Marshall Avett started the Old Gold label in 1994; been playing with unrecognized geniuses in groups like More, Mato, Charlie Parker, Petland Toy Faktory, and Zandosis; likes ice cream; has cats named Fatty Nacho and Squeak; and has never ridden a crest of power like he feels when he announces these songs and launches into the resulting attack of sound and electricity.


Track Listings

1. Dick Cheney Bleeding To Death On The Streets Of Detroit
2. Paul Wolfowitz boiled alive in his own urine
3. William Kristol raped in prison
4. A menstruating Condoleeza Rice dropped in the amazon river, eaten alive by piranha in 60 seconds
5. Ari Fleischer split right down the middle
6. Colin Powell Uncle Tom
7. Michael Powell choking to death on the shattered glass of my TV screen
8. Donald Rumsfeld buried up to his neck in dogshit with lawnmower on top
9. Richard Perle torn apart by jackals
10. Fuck John Cage
11. William Rehnquist torn apart by six-foot bull sharks
12. Bill Frist kept alive in a persistent vegetative state and broadcast 24 hours a day on his own cable network
13. Bill Frist kept alive in a persistent vegetative state and broadcast 24 hours a day on his own cable network
14. Clarence Thomas on the wrong end of a gay porno
15. Bill O'Reilly's face sanded off, pureed, injected into an enema bag and administered to a willing Rick Santorum
16. John Ashcroft Flattened under the weight of a 5,200 pound replica of the ten commandments
17. Rush Limbaugh sodomized by a 30-pound Cuban cigar
18. Trent Lott asking for directions in Brooklyn [aka fuckin' cracker]
19. Pat Robertson plagued by locusts
20. Tom Delay shoved in a Roach Motel, poisoned, and eaten from the inside out by tarantulas


Tell all your friends and don't forget to mention that Nyc sent ya.




Wednesday, January 3, 2007

And It's No Sacacacacaaarrrriiiffiifffiiicceeee....



Back by popular demand!!!


Because YOU asked for it!!

Here's this week's episode of.....



Axiomatic Truths Of The Universe Theater:


"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings."

"Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."


And, of course, the most immutable, axiomatic TRUTH of them ALL:


Every time George W. Bush utters the word

"Sacrifice"

another American will
DIE.



Tune in next week for an another episode of..... Axiomatic Truuuuuths Of The Universe Theater!!!!!!!

Guess Who's Back?

How you like *dem* apples?

And here you were thinking that "High Noon" was only a movie.

Think again, you Reflucklicant bitches.

:-)

heheheh.

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

Goosebumps....

It wasn't until I got to a newstand on my way to work today, and saw the front page of today's New York Fucking Times that it hit me....

Today, Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007, is the first full 24 hour day that New York State is no longer being governed by a Republican.

As are the majority of the rest of the states of these here United States, because on Monday, January 1st, 2007 is when all the new Democratic Governer's were sworn into office.

Wow.

I totally spaced that and mixed it up with US Congress, which, oh, guess what?

It will pass into the Democratic Majority in just a little over 12 hours from this post.

Fuckin' ayyyyyyy!!!!

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

We Have A Winner!!!!! A Pen Warmed In Hell's Long National Nightmare Is Over.

(UPDATE: Blogger is being a little bitch right now, and not letting me post these pics the way I want them to go, and also since I've got to get ready for the below mentioned POS day-job, so, much to my chagrin, these two pics will have to do for now.

I'll put the rest up when I don't want to gash my teeth, rend my cloth and tear my hair out like I'm actually in Hell, for reals. ~nyc)


Despite what the "new & improved" Blogger might have to say about how long I've been on their corner of the internets, it's been a long, long, long time that A Pen Warmed In Hell has had a presence, and I gotta tell ya. it can get pretty discouraging sometimes because nobody's been leaving any comments here.

Kinda depressing, flying blind, it can be.

Not to mention discouraging too

Well, finally the ice has been broken.

First
jurassicpork popped in and said "hi" and just now today, enigma4ever, of Watergate Summer, just left me some nice words of encouragement, and I gotta tell ya, The Spiritual Patron Saint of A Pen Warmed in Hell, Mark Twain, himself, is right, you can:

"Get by for two weeks on the strength of a compliment".

Who knew?

So I want to do something special for them both, and since I'm not in a position to award cash prizes, at least not yet, if anyone out there wants to show me how to set up a PayPal donate link, or sell advertising, in addition to Google's Adsense Program, here on A Pen Warmed In Hell, so I can, like, y'know, I'm like everybody else and I really want to quit my day job, they don't understand me over there anyways, so it's not like there'd be any hard feelings, and do this full time, that'd be awesome.

In the meantime, and since it works so well with the President Ford stuff that I'm planning on writing here, here are some honest, Out-Sourced, Injun, pictures that I took last year, when I back to DC last Spring to visit my girlfriend in DC, (babs you are SO missed), of the actual office that the Watergate Building Break-In, which led to the Fall of Richard Nixon, happened in.

There's actually a freaking Shrine, of sorts, in there.

How cool is that?

I hope you all like them.


More to follow.

~nyc



110th Congress Swears In Tomorrow!!!!



In light of that, here's The Pledge of Allegiance as sung by America's Children.

Please, let's not let these kids down, they are our future, after all.



The Gerald Ford Is Dead. Long Live The Gerald Ford!!!!!!

A National Day of Mourning Under A Full Moon

This is a "placeholder" post because I have a lot to say on the subject but for now here's my letter to Peggy Noonan at the Wall Street Jopurnal, that she didn't run, (just like the one I wrote her for the Reagan Porn Funeral column she wrote where I asked her, since her son was so taken with the Pomp And Circumstance, and LOVED the military Uniforms there, which Branch Of Service was she going to recommend to him to Enlist in, hmmm?), but for now here's the letter to, (cue: swine snorting noises), Miss Peggy:

The following letter has been submitted via the OpinionJournal article response feature.
Contents of response as follows:
#---

Name: Nyc Alberts
E-mail: DigitalComponents@gmail.com
City/State: NY, NY
Date: Sun, December 31st, 2006

Subject:
Re: Ford Without Tears

Comment:
As much as I disagree with pretty much every word that you write, and speak, this is right on the money.

President Gerald Ford represents what the Republican Party used to stand for before they went off the deep end as they have.

One thing I'm not seeing in all these eulogies is how he stood by his wife, Betty, in getting the help she needed. At that time there was still a huge stigma in American society for those afflicted with alcoholism and/or drug addiction seeking any sort of help because of the bogus shame that the Neo-Prohibitionitic Puritans of America had saddled it with.

He could have easily just tossed her to the wolves, but being a decent man, he didn't, and that has had a huge transformative effect on American
society, to the better, at least on the health issues side. The criminal issues stuff around this is another matter though that I'm not going to get into here.

RIP Mr. Ford.



Stay tuned to A Pen Warmed In Hell, there's more to come....

A Friend Writes....

This is a letter written by a friend to the Editors at The Washington Post yesterday.

Since I'm not sure if they're going to run it, I will:

"Dear Editor:

It was with great sadness to learn that yesterday, December 30, 2006, the U.S. death toll for soldiers in Iraq reached the 3,000 mark.

Just a few days prior, the U.S. toll on its soldiers mirrored that of the
deaths on 9/11/2001, 2,973.

For many, this is the time of year for great joy. For me and my
family, it is one of great sadness. I wish to convey to our soldiers
on the field that the solidarity of the United States is behind them.

Yet, I can't help but wonder if this great sacrifice was truly worth
it, especially in light of the now public views of one of our great
Presidents, now also deceased.

The nation continues to mourn for every life lost, U.S., Iraqi,
Coalition or otherwise, and hopes that the bloodshed will not continue to dominate the new year as it did the past.

No...it's not Viet Nam.

It's even more pointless.

These are my friends dying, day after day, and it literally hurts to keep looking down this neverending path."

~S

I don't see how any of us can feel any different.
3,000 pointless, futile deaths, when are we going to finally have had our fill.

Congress needs to get on the stick, that's what we elected them for, now.

The Land Of The Rising Boobies New Year's Rocking Eve

Decidely NOT work safe:

Forget Janet Jackson.


This is how they do it, "Wardrobe Malfunction" Stylee on *live* National
TV in Japan on New Year's Eve, 2007:


Make sure you're paying *very* close attention at the 2 minute mark, you
won't be sorry.

(h/t http://guerillawomentn.blogspot.com/ )

Added bonus:

Don't know if this one has made the rounds yet, it's a modern day update
of Woody Allen's line from Annie Hall about how he'd like to do to his
date "what Eisenhower had been doing to the country for the last 8 years":


(h/t http://welcome-to-pottersville.blogspot.com/ )

Monday, January 1, 2007

Down The Memory Hole: On Donna Brazille on HBO's "K Street" in 2004

Ported over from a comment I left at C&L 1/1/07 on a thread about CNN mispelling US Senator Barack Obama's name with that of a notorious terrorist who *yet* to be brought to justice.

Speaking of Donna Brazille, TBH, http://www.haloscan.com/ comments...0113201#1465076

During the election season of 2004, Brazille did a cameo on George Clooney/Steve Soderburgh's little seen HBO mini-series, "K Street" shot on location in Franklin Park, at 14th and K Street, NW, talking with Matalin & Carville's fictional, multi-ethnic, Wunderkind, faux lobbyist character named Francisco, on a park bench, that I used to go by every working day when I lived there.

(Always a trip when something that's that so dailylil in my life familiar appears on a nationally broadcast TV show.)

This was when, on the show, the fit hit the shan at their fictional lobbying firm, with the Justice Department closing in on them for some shady deal that they were in the middle of, and instead of Brazille telling this Francisco character that they, Matalin & Carville, were going to "hang him out to dry", "or throw him to the wolves", or some such other euphemism, Brazille instead told him something along the lines that Francisco should watch out for himself because the 'white boys in DC always take care of their own' but also that he should always be aware that he was in 'Chocolate City' as well.

I couldn't help but think of the firestorm that would have erupted if the negative was flipped and someone of her position was white and made disparaging comments about corrupt black lobbyists to a white colleague.

Then about a year later New Orleans Mayor Nagin nearly got nailed to the tree for using the same "Chocolate City" language.

I'm not real big on double standards, and it really irks me when someone from our team, like Brazille, who knows better, effs up like that.

We simply just can't afford a Trent Lott/Strom Thurmond type gaffe like that, even on a fictional, Roman A Clef type TV show that nobody watches, except a bunch of C-SPAN weenies and assorted sundry wonks.

There's too much at stake now for us to be doing stupid stuff like that, because the Reich wing-nuts are waiting for us in the hall, loaded for bear, with sharpened knives and brass knuckles, just lying in wait for any and every opportunity that may present itself to pounce on, no matter how minor.

Don't believe it?

Look at the frenzy they went into over Kerry's botched joke.

That, and we've got to find a way to close ranks, circle the wagons and march in lock-step, a set of skills that the Republicans have mastered, yet seems to elude us still.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has given every indication that she's gonna be cracking the whip, starting this Wednesday, yay.

Let's hope she follows through.


~nyc

Days Left Until Bush Leaves Office, Maybe, Countown Clock