Thursday, May 18, 2006

Crooked Timber ? ? STFU Syndrome

This is a nice riff on an old standard....

"Son, we live in a world that has blogs, and those blogs have to be guarded by men with computers.
Who’s gonna do it?


You, Lt. Waring?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You weep for Reynolds and you curse the Keyboarders.

You have that luxury.

You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Reynolds’ existence, while tragic, probably saved lives.

And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don’t want the truth because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that blog.

You need me on that blog.

We use words like “fisk,” “indeed,” “heh” …

We use these words as the backbone to a life spent at home defending something.

You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a woman who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the endlessly self-important invective that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it!

I would rather you just said thank you and went on your way.

Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a laptop and start to post.

Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!"

Posted by Kieran Healy May 14th, 2006 at 7:58 am

Monday, May 15, 2006

Update: Battle Hymn of the Republic

Mine eyes have seen the orgy of the launching of the Sword;
He is searching out the hoardings where the stranger's wealth is stored;
He hath loosed his fateful lightnings, and with woe and death has scored;
His lust is marching on.

I have seen him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps;
They have builded him an altar in the Eastern dews and damps;
I have read his doomful mission by the dim and flaring lamps—
His night is marching on.

I have read his bandit gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with my pretensions, so with you my wrath shall deal;
Let the faithless son of Freedom crush the patriot with his heel;
Lo, Greed is marching on!"

We have legalized the strumpet and are guarding her retreat;*
Greed is seeking out commercial souls before his judgement seat;
O, be swift, ye clods, to answer him! be jubilant my feet!
Our god is marching on!

In a sordid slime harmonious Greed was born in yonder ditch,
With a longing in his bosom—and for others' goods an itch.
As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich—
Our god is marching on.

Mark Twain, 1901

The "Real" Star of "The Da Vinci Code"

It's not going to be who you think it is.

It's gonna be the CAR the hottie drives.

Here's what one looks like:

Can't get the Mercedes one that gets 55 mpg in the States, gonna have to settle for the re-jiggered one that the EPA says gets 40 mpg.

Of course if the 80% of you Americans out there got off your fat asses and got a US Passport and saw that there's more to the world than American Idol you'd have already known about this.

Enjoy the movie, if you can afford the gas to get to the theatre to see it.


Days Left Until Bush Leaves Office, Maybe, Countown Clock